Forbidden Awakenings (Awakenings Series Book 1) Read online

“I will.” Nick wrapped his arms around Elle and kissed the top of her head. He’d always been like a brother to her, doing the best he could to protect her. “If you need anything …”

  “I just need you to take care of Ivy,” she replied, looking over her shoulder at Derek, Callum, and Sadie. “They’ll take care of me.”

  Nick smiled and nodded as he released her. “Yeah, I suppose they will.”

  Elle took a deep breath as she pushed open the door and stepped out of the church. The minute the door closed behind her, the dam broke and her knees buckled. However, instead of falling to the ground, a pair of strong arms scooped her up. Unsurprised to find herself in Derek’s arms, Elle buried her face in his chest as her weeping turned to outright sobbing.

  The drive to Callum and Derek’s house was made in utter silence, only the occasional sniffle from Elle could be heard. Perhaps they didn’t know what to say to soothe away the lash marks that had been sliced through her soul from her mother’s vindictive words. Or maybe, they were nursing their own hurt feelings. They’d been judged, too. All three of them had been treated like scum because they’d fallen in love with Elle. It wasn’t fair, but those were the facts, and she was done playing make believe about her life.

  The moment they stopped, Elle was out of the car, feeling the suffocating guilt that ebbed at her soul. With all the hate and garbage spewed out by her mother, Helina had been right about one thing: Elle was selfish. She had been greedy when she took Sadie as a lover, holding her back for ten years. If she hadn’t, maybe Sadie would have fallen in love in college. And again with Derek and Callum; she’d snatched them up, held them close to her heart, and refused to live without them. While she still couldn’t exist without all three of her lovers, it was selfish of her to love them, to need them so much.

  Instead of going into the house, Elle walked through the side gate and into the backyard. Full of colorful foliage, a large pool, and a warming fire-pit, not that they needed it a lot in San Francisco, the backyard was cozy and welcoming. And right now, Elle needed to feel the comforts the courtyard provided.

  Derek, Callum, and Sadie followed her and she turned to look at them, but before they could try to help her and tell her that everything would be okay, she reached to the left side of her dress, lowering the zipper and allowing it to shimmy to the ground. Their eyes traveled down her exposed body. She hadn’t bothered with a bra or panties, knowing that by the end of the night she’s have had her way with at least one of her lovers, if not all of them. Of course, she hadn’t expected her mother to catch her and Sadie in the moment, or the fallout that came afterward.

  Turning, she walked to the edge of the pool, dipped one foot in to check the temperature, looked back at her lovers with a smile on her face, and then dove in. When she broke through the water, she pushed the hair out of her face and turned toward them. She found that they were stripping off their clothes. Sadie was first and jumped in with a loud squeal. Elle wrapped her arms around Sadie and pulled her naked form against her body, reveling in the feel of the skin-to-skin contact. A moment later, she felt Derek and Callum press themselves against them.

  Elle sighed, leaning her head on Sadie’s shoulder. Her tears mixed with the water from the pool. “I’m sorry she treated y’all like that. I mean I knew she would, but a part of me hoped that she wouldn’t.”

  “Don’t apologize for her,” Derek said, bringing his hand up and brushing the moisture off her face.

  Huffing, she tugged herself away from them, swam to the edge of the pool, folded her arms on the ledge, and laid her head on top. “She’s never hidden the fact that I’m a disappointment to her, or to my father, but to be so …” She trailed off, unable to complete her thought. The ache that filled her was too much for her to handle.

  “Baby, she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about,” Sadie said, wrapping her arms around Elle from behind. “You’re so amazing and beautiful.”

  “Sadie’s right.” Derek leaned against the pool next to her and shifted so he was looking her in the eye. “I’m sorry she hurt you, and that she refused to see the person we do.”

  “The woman who slept with you without even learning your last names first,” she muttered.

  “No, the woman who strolled out onto that dance floor with Sadie and didn’t give a fuck who was watching as you touched her, kissed her. Damn it, Elle! You have no idea just how sexy you are!” Callum exclaimed, moving so that he was standing on the other side of her. “When we watched you dancing together, do you know what I was thinking?”

  Elle shook her head.

  “I was jealous,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

  “Why?” she whispered.

  “Because you seemed so free.” He smiled. “I wanted that level of happiness with Derek, but I was scared to tell him how I felt. As we watched you together, I felt this pull to you, this unexplainable urge to touch you. And I was confused because I love Derek, Elle. I love him so much, but I wanted you and Sadie, too. It didn’t make sense, it was silly and stupid, but I needed to hear the sound of your voice. So, we bribed Frankie and sent you drinks, and somehow, we managed talk to you. I never expected for us to go home with you that night, or for us to form a relationship, but I’m not sorry.”

  “Is that what you think?” Elle asked, a frown pulling her lips downward. “That I regret being with you and Derek?”

  “Do you?” Though the question left Callum’s lips, she knew Derek was wondering the same.

  “Of course not!” She turned and faced them. “I love you, both of you. Just like I love Sadie. You … you’ve made me feel like I could be more than just Ivy’s wayward little sister, or the black sheep in my family. Until I met you two, Sadie was the only person I could ever trust with every part of me.” Elle brought her hand up to Callum’s chest and tried to stop her fingers from shaking. “That night, when we got back to the apartment, was the first time in two years that I didn’t think about every move I made or everything I said. I was living in the moment, and I felt so free. You and Derek gave me that. You gave me my life back.”

  Callum wrapped his arms around Elle, one hand coming to rest on the top of her ass while the other was tangled in her hair. A throaty groan reverberated from his chest as he crushed his mouth against hers, swallowing the moan fell from her lips. Their kiss was hard and needy, full of unspoken declarations of love and desire, and a promise to never leave each other. As Callum pushed his tongue into her mouth, Elle felt another pair of hands slide along her hips. Derek pressed his body against hers and she could feel every inch of how much he wanted — no needed — her.

  Tearing her lips away from Callum’s, Elle turned around. Derek’s lips met hers in a fiery kiss, their tongues stroking each other’s while her body yearned for him to touch her, to claim her as his lover. His fingers kneaded her skin, drawing her closer to him. With a need for air, Elle pulled her mouth from his only to find Sadie’s waiting for her. Unlike with Derek and Callum, Sadie’s kisses were soft and sensual; reminding Elle of the first time they’d tasted the other’s lips.

  Derek pulled her back into his arms, wrapped her legs around his waist, and carried to out of the pool. He laid on one of the loungers, positioning her so that she was straddling him. The feeling of him hardening beneath her caused her to moan. Placing her hands on his chest, she dragged her fingers across his skin, reveling in his hard muscles. Derek shuddered, causing her to smirk. Yeah, she knew the effect she had on him. While he, Callum, and Sadie owned her body and knew just how to touch her, they were hers to manipulate, to use and throw away if she wanted. Well, that was not true. She would never be able to rid herself of her lovers. She craved their love too much.

  “Beautiful, I need you,” Derek groaned, closing his eyes.

  “Look at me,” she ordered.

  His eyelids snapped open, and she smirked as she leaned down, pressing her lips against his once again. When she leaned back up, Sadie slipped onto the lounger behind her, wrapped
her arms around Elle, and palmed her breasts.

  “Jesus, Sadie!” Elle whimpered. “I love when you touch me.”

  “I love it when I touch you, too.” Sadie snickered. “But I want to watch them both fuck you.”

  Elle gasped.

  “Do you want that? Hmm? Do you want Derek to fuck that hot pussy of yours while Callum fucks your ass?” While Sadie was speaking, she’d pull at her nipples with one hand while her other had drifted down to her pussy, stroking her slowly.

  “Yes,” Elle breathed, wanting nothing more than to feel both men inside of her at the same time.

  “Callum.”

  Sadie had barely gotten his name out of her mouth before he was rushing into the house. He came back moments later with a handful of condoms and a bottle of lubricant. Elle raised an eyebrow at him, causing him to blush as he shrugged his shoulders.

  “Figured it was just a matter of time before one of us needed these,” he said, tilting his head toward Derek.

  “Dude,” Derek groaned, tightening his hands on Elle’s hips. “You’re fucking awesome.”

  “I know.” Callum winked at him before moving to stand behind Sadie, but shifting his eyes to Elle. “Are you sure?”

  All she could do was nod, knowing that her words would come out in a tremor. While she was nervous, she knew there was no way they would hurt her. Elle took a deep breath as she pushed herself onto the balls of her feet and positioned Derek under her. With a moan, she slid him into her body, the sensation was almost enough to push her toward her climax, but not quite.

  Sadie moved from behind her, lowering the back of the lounger so that Derek was lying flat on his back. She threw one leg over them so that she was straddling Derek’s head, lowering her pussy onto his eager mouth. Derek wrapped his hands around her thighs while sliding his tongue inside her.

  “So fucking hot,” Callum groaned, placing his hand on Elle’s back and gently pushing her forward. “Have you done anal before?”

  “Um, kind of,” she mumbled. “Leo and I tried it once, but he didn’t get more than a couple inches of his dick inside of me before he came.”

  “Elle and I have fucked each other’s asses with our vibrators, too,” Sadie added, grinding herself against Derek’s tongue. “Fuck, I’m so close, baby. So close.”

  Derek’s grip on Sadie’s legs tightened and she threw her head back, screaming as her orgasm washed over her. Sliding off of Derek, Sadie moved so that she was propping him up. Elle leaned down, thrusting her tongue into his mouth as she kissed him. She could taste Sadie, which turned her on even more.

  Callum growled, grabbed Elle’s hips, and pressed himself against her. “You two do anal together?”

  “Oh, yeah, baby,” Sadie cooed. “Elle has a fabulous ass. I love making her come while I fuck her.”

  “You two are going to be the death of us,” he grumbled, sliding his hand down Elle’s back until he reached her ass. “Tell me to stop, and I will. Okay?”

  Elle nodded, unable to trust her voice. She wanted him inside of her, to feel that connection with him. She heard the sound of the bottle of lube being opened just seconds before she felt his finger pressing against her opening. Elle blew out a heavy breath and willed her body to relax.

  Gradually, almost to the point of being torturous, Callum worked his finger inside her, adding another and then another until he had three digits in her. Elle could feel her heart racing as Derek thrust his hips upward, and Callum prepared her. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he slipped his fingers out. A heartbeat later, he pressed the tip of his cock against her.

  “Take a deep breath and relax for me, baby,” Callum told her, kneading her hip with his free hand. “Let me love you.”

  Elle looked over her shoulder at him, tears filling her eyes. “I’m ready.”

  Callum smiled and began to press himself inside her. He was slow and careful as he filled her. Unable to stifle her emotions, Elle whimpered.

  Callum paused, blowing out a shaky breath. “Am I hurting you? Do you want me to stop?”

  “No!” she begged. “Please don’t stop. It feels amazing!”

  He slid his hands along her hips as he began to move. The feeling of both men inside of her was incredible. Her body felt alive, tingling with a desire for more. But then again, she always needed more when she was with Derek or Callum.

  “Fuck, I can feel you, Cal,” Derek groaned as they alternated strokes. He’d push while Callum pulled, giving and taking her, making her theirs in every way.

  “Goddamn, it’s fucking amazing,” Callum grunted.

  “Baby,” Sadie murmured, dragging her fingers through Elle’s hair. “What’s it feel like to have them both?”

  “Incredible, wonderful, perfect,” she stammered. “Like we were always meant to be like this.”

  “We were,” Derek gritted out, his eyes locked on hers. “Your body was made for us, for us to love, beautiful. Just like Sadie was made for us, and we were made for you.”

  The magnitude of his words hit her hard, and Elle cried out as her orgasm washed over her. Derek’s eyes flew open as he gasped, thrust once more before following her and coming inside of her. Behind her, Elle could feel Callum’s movements becoming more frantic and needy. Moving his hand from her hip, he reached around her, sliding his hand onto Derek’s. A husky “fuck” left his mouth as he stilled his hips and found his climax.

  Eventually, they wound up inside Callum and Derek’s bedroom, their bodies tangled together. They lost count of who was touching, kissing, or making love to them, and it didn’t matter anymore. In her heart, Elle knew her parents would never love and accept her for who she was, but she didn’t need them, not anymore. Her lovers would never let her go, and she refused to release them from her heart. They’d fallen in love, but it was much more than a few inane feelings. Their connection went deeper. They were soul mates, lovers, and they’d spend a lifetime together, basking in the love they felt for each other.

  Sixteen

  Early the next morning, Elle untangled herself from the web of arms and legs that had been wrapped around her. Leaving her lovers sleeping in peace, she grabbed a T-shirt from the dresser, unsure if it was Derek or Callum’s, and not caring either way. She needed to keep them close as she walked out of the room, downstairs, and through the dark and quiet house. The sun was still struggling to push over the horizon.

  Elle stopped in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, but her attention was pulled toward the backyard. Pushing away from the counter, she opened the sliding door and stepped out onto the patio. Their clothes were scattered around the pool. As Elle walked over and picked up her mauve-colored dress, the harsh words her mother had spat at her came flooding back and she crumbled to her knees, clutching the fabric to her chest.

  She had always known that her mother hadn’t loved her as much as Ivy. It had been a fact she’d come to accept a long time ago, but she had never expected the pure hate and venom that filled Helina’s words. How could her mother not see how much each one cut her? Did her mother hate her so much that she couldn’t look past her own prejudice and see that for the first time in Elle’s life, she was happy? It was clear to her that Helina Reid would never be able to accept her relationship with Sadie, Derek, or Callum, not matter how hard Elle wished.

  “Hey.” Smiling, Elle looked over her shoulder, unsurprised to find Callum leaning against the entrance to the house with nothing but a pair of plaid pajama bottoms on, which hung loosely on his hips. “You okay?”

  She stood up, still holding the dress against her. “I guess.”

  “You don’t sound too sure.”

  “Because I’m not,” she admitted. “I don’t know how I feel right now.”

  Callum nodded. “About us, or …”

  “No, not about us.” Elle sighed. “She wasn’t always so … cold. My mother, I mean. When I was little, she’d have me sit in the middle of her bed and she’d brush my hair for hours. It always felt so good. When
she was done, she’d wrap her arms around me and kiss my cheek, and say, ‘Honey girl, you’re the best gift I ever received’.” Elle shook her head. “I don’t know when I stopped being that gift to her.”

  “I don’t know, either.” Callum pushed away from the doorjamb and walked over to her, sliding his arms around her waist and nestling her against his chest.

  “I know it’s silly to let her affect me like this, but —”

  “Hey, it is not silly,” he interrupted. Callum tilted Elle’s head up so he could look her in the eye. “She’s your mother. Of course you want her to love and accept you as you are. It would be weird if you didn’t. I hope that one day she will realize how wrong she is and beg your forgiveness, but you have to be prepared for that not to happen.” Callum paused. “We all do.”

  “What do you mean?” Elle asked.

  He frowned. “Who’s to say that any of our parents will accept the way we feel about each other? I mean, my mom and dad are pretty relaxed when it comes to sexuality, but it’s a lot different when you’re talking about your own son and not the boy down the block, right?”

  She nodded. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe we’re doomed from the start.”

  “That’s enough.” At the sound of Derek’s voice, she and Callum looked over and saw him and Sadie standing in the doorway to the house. With their arms wrapped around each other and scowls on their faces, it was clear that they’d heard every word they said. “Look, maybe it won’t be easy, but the four of us are stronger than anything anyone throws at us. Perhaps you’re right. Our parents might not accept us. We may have to spend the rest of our lives defending ourselves to them, to society, but I’m done letting fear stop me from having what I want.”

  “And what is it that you want?” Callum asked, shifting his body so that he and Elle were facing Derek and Sadie.

  “You,” Derek said, though Elle knew he meant more than just the man next to her. He wanted all of them, and so did she.

  “Even if it ends up costing you your parents?” When Derek didn’t reply, Elle added, “You told me that the men in your family aren’t supposed to love other men. What if your father doesn’t approve of you and Callum, Derek?”