Forbidden Awakenings (Awakenings Series Book 1) Read online

  “And I pushed him away,” Thomas said, grimacing before he smiled. “But then I grabbed him and kissed him again.”

  “And again,” Tyson repeated.

  “And yet again,” Thomas laughed. “I couldn’t get enough.”

  “Neither could I,” Tyson murmured, reaching over and taking hold of his hand. “My biggest regret will always be leaving like I did.”

  “You had to, though,” Thomas insisted. “Your momma needed you, and you couldn’t turn your back on her.”

  Tyson nodded, but didn’t elaborate. “After that day in the locker room, we would meet almost every day but it was always in private, always in secret,” he said, frowning. “I hated it. I hated having to keep him quiet, but he wasn’t ready to admit that he was attracted to men, and I didn’t want to hurt Leigh.”

  “But you did anyway, right?” Elle asked, drawing their attention to her.

  “Yes, he did,” Leigh admitted. “When I got to UCLA, I thought I’d still be his girlfriend, but he started pulling away, started canceling plans at the last minute. I barely saw him, and it hurt. About a month after the semester started, I caught them together. And I was pissed. I’d never been so humiliated. I didn’t speak to him for month,” she said.

  “I deserved worse,” Tyson quipped. “I should have been honest with you from the get go instead of hiding away like a coward.”

  “Yeah, you should have, but you weren’t and we can’t change that, can we?” Leigh asked.

  Tyson shook his head and looked over at Elle. “After weeks of begging her to talk to me, to let me explain, she finally did. It was so hard to sit there and tell her that I’d been lying to her, that I’d used her to fit in. She screamed that I was a bastard, she cried about how I’d humiliated her, but then she said that she forgave me.”

  Leigh smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I did.”

  “Why?” Sadie asked. “He admitted to cheating on you, to using you.” She turned to Tyson. “No offense, but I’m curious why she would forgive you.”

  He waved her off. “No offense taken.”

  “It wasn’t easy,” Leigh admitted. “And for a long time, I struggled to be around him and Thomas. I was in love with Tyson, but he didn’t love me, not the way I did anyway.”

  “We became friends, though it was hard. I worried about her feeling like I was throwing Thomas in her face. But then just before Valentine’s Day, my mother found out she had stage four colon cancer. My father left us when I was three, and I was all she had. She had to quit her job and the treatments were expensive, so I had to leave school and go back Georgia, find a job, take care of her.”

  “You left Thomas?” Elle asked.

  He nodded. “I had to. She was my mom. She worked three jobs to raise me. I couldn’t turn my back on her. We tried to make it work, but we couldn’t.”

  “The distance was too hard,” Thomas added. “After a couple months we agreed that to end our relationship. I won’t lie, it hurt. I loved him. He was my first. I hadn’t even had sex with a woman before, he was all I knew. Suddenly, he wasn’t there.”

  “So, how did you and Leigh get together if you’re gay?” Elle asked.

  “I’m not gay,” Thomas responded, but before she could say anything, he was quick to add, “I’m bi-sexual. Of course, I didn’t realize it until much later. See, I thought because I was in love with Tyson that I had to be gay. He’s a dude, I’m a dude, make sense, right?”

  As Elle and Sadie nodded, Derek and Callum rejoined them with a fresh round of drinks everyone.

  “Still telling them the long version?” Derek asked.

  “Yep,” Thomas said, taking one of the fruity drinks. Elle laughed, which caused him to look at her. “What’s so funny?”

  “Your drink has an umbrella,” she said, smirking.

  “And?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

  “And nothing. I just find it cute,” she snickered. “You look like this big badass, but really, you’re an old softy, aren’t you?”

  Thomas pressed his lips together. “Perhaps.”

  “He is,” Tyson and Leigh said together, laughing.

  “He cries at hallmark commercials,” Leigh added.

  “And chick flicks,” Tyson jibed.

  Thomas opened his mouth several times before he said, “Touché.”

  “So you’re bi-sexual, huh?” Sadie asked.

  He nodded. “After Tyson and I ended things, I didn’t date. It was hard to put myself out there again, and I still loved him. Two games into my junior year, I tore the ACL in my left knee, effectively ending my collegiate career. So, I turned my focus onto my studies. I was already a decent student, pulled high C’s and low B’s, but I figured if I couldn’t play anymore, I might as well get a damn good degree. So, I signed up to take a microbiological class, and guess who my lab partner was?”

  “Me,” Leigh beamed, smiling.

  “Seriously?” Elle asked.

  Leigh nodded. “He came stumbling into our class on a pair of rickety crutches, and the seat next to me was the only one not taken. Our professor told us that the person next to us was going to be our lab partners, and no amount of arguing would change that. I wasn’t happy. I hated the buffoon, loathed him for taking Tyson from me. But then, after a few classes, we started talking, and I realized that he’d been hurt, too. He was lonely, and I was, too. I didn’t have many friends. It was hard to trust him at first because he was a constant reminder of Tyson.”

  “I won you over, though.” Thomas kissed her cheek before looking over at Elle and Sadie. “The more time I spent with her, the more I realized I was attracted to her. It confused me, because I was gay, right? I was in love with Tyson, so I couldn’t be attracted to a woman, could I? But I couldn’t deny that I wanted her, that I needed her in my life.” He took another sip of his drink before he continued. “One night, just before mid-terms, we were studying in her dorm room, and I don’t know what pushed me to make my move, but I leaned over and kissed her. She pushed me away and slapped me. I started to apologize, but then she surprised the hell out of me.”

  “How?” Elle asked.

  Leigh groaned, burying her face in her hands. “I might have thrown him on the bed and had my way with him.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “But I was horny, and he was cute, and I was horny, and, God, was he good-looking. Did I mention that I was horny?”

  “A couple times,” Derek quipped.

  “Yeah, well, I woke up the next morning, and he was snoring behind me. I was … appalled by how I had behaved.” She sighed as she reached over and picked up her drink, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. “When Thomas woke up, I kicked him out, told him to never come near me again, that what happened between us had been a mistake.”

  “But I’m a stubborn asshole and refused to go away,” he said, laughing. “I called her non-stop, showed up at her door with flowers, candy, dinner, anything and everything I could think of.”

  “Why?” Sadie asked. “Why would you go through so much trouble for her?” She looked at Leigh. “No offense, of course, but you sounded like a real bitch.”

  However, she appeared to be unphased. “None taken. I was a bitch.”

  Thomas cleared his throat, pulling their attention back to him. “Because when I was with her, my heart didn’t ache for Tyson,” he admitted. “I was falling for her, and even though it scared me, I wasn’t going to let her go without a fight. I’d already lost one lover, I didn’t want to lose another.”

  Tyson frowned, but didn’t say anything else.

  “It took a while, but I wore her defenses down, and she finally agreed to go out with me,” Thomas said, sliding his hand over onto Tyson’s, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I spared no expense. I took her to Taco Bell,” he scoffed.

  “What!” Elle exclaimed. “That’s horrible!”

  “Hey, I was a poor college student on a scholarship. I didn’t have a lot of money,” he argued. “In hindsight,
it wasn’t the smartest decision I’ve ever made, but it was hell-of-a-lot better than taking her to the dining hall, wasn’t it?”

  “Barely,” Callum scoffed.

  “Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the most romantic place, but he made up for it,” Leigh said, smiling. “Once we had our food, he drove us down to the beach. He found this private little cove, and he spread a blanket out, lit a dozen candles, and we just … we just talked. Like really talk. He told me about himself, about his family, about his relationship with Tyson. I saw a bit of myself in him, the longing to find someone to love me. And, I don’t know, something changed that night. When I looked at him, I didn’t see the man Tyson left me for, but the real Thomas. I fell in love with him that night.”

  Elle shifted her attention to Tyson, who smiled. “You’re expecting me to be pissed, aren’t you?” he asked.

  “A little,” she admitted.

  “I was at first,” he said. “Two years after I left UCLA, I, um, I ran into them in Georgia. Leigh had brought Thomas to meet her parents, and they were eating dinner at this small Chinese restaurant down from the college I was taking classes at. Mom insisted that even though I had to back to Georgia that I still had to go to school. She said she didn’t work fifteen hours days for me to waste my life taking care of her. I tried to argue with her, but my momma, she was a stubborn woman,” he laughed, shaking his head. “When I saw Thomas and Leigh sitting there, I felt my heart plummet. They were happy. Thomas saw me first, and when our eyes met, I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but stare at him.

  “He stood up and started walking toward me, and my chest hurt. Like ached so much because I still loved him. Even after two years, I was still in love with him. But he’d moved on. He told me that he and Leigh were getting married, that he was sorry he hadn’t stayed in touched. I tried to be strong, tried to tell him that it was okay, but it wasn’t. Not yet. I felt betrayed. Probably how Leigh felt when I hurt her. Thought maybe I deserved it for being selfish for using Leigh, for not being honest about who I am.”

  “You know that’s not true, honey,” Leigh grumbled.

  “I do now, but I didn’t then,” Tyson said. “Thomas asked if I’d meet them the next day for lunch, said the three of us needed to sit down and talk, and I agreed. My stomach was in knots as I walked into the diner and saw them waiting for me, but it was like, the moment I looked at them, like really saw them together, I realized that they were perfect for each other. Though it hurt, I was prepared to give Thomas up, to let him go because I knew Leigh would make him happy, and that’s all I cared about.”

  “So that was it?” Elle asked. “You let him go, they got married, and you were left behind?”

  “Yes, and then again no,” he said, smiling.

  “What does that mean?” she pressed.

  “We came to an arrangement of sorts,” he said, looking at Thomas and Leigh. “Right?”

  They nodded.

  “What does that mean?” Sadie asked.

  “Well, the sexual tension between them was … palatable,” Leigh explained. “And I knew that there were some … unresolved feelings between them, too, so I suggested that the three of us should sleep together.”

  Elle’s eyes widened. “No shit?”

  “No shit,” she laughed. “To be honest, the thought of the two of them being together turned me on.”

  “Two sweaty men fucking?” Sadie scoffed, turning her attention to Derek and Callum. “What’s not to love?”

  “No way!” Thomas guffawed, slamming his hand on the table. “You two have … already?”

  Through the club was dark, Elle could see the red tint to Derek and Callum’s cheeks as they nodded.

  “And?” Thomas pushed, wiggling his eyebrows. “Was it good?”

  “Duh.” Derek snorted. “Look at us, dude. We’re hot!”

  “They are,” Elle murmured, turning back to Thomas, Tyson, and Leigh. “So you three slept together and that made everything okay?”

  “No, I mean, it was great,” Tyson said, smiling. “Being with them again, feeling their hands on my body, it was amazing, but it didn’t change the fact that I lived in Georgia and they here in San Francisco, which meant that we couldn’t be more than that one night.”

  “Or so he thought,” Leigh said, giggling. “A long distance relationship between the three of us wasn’t possible, and Thomas and I already had a life here, jobs set up for after we graduated, so we couldn’t move. And Tyson’s mom still needed him too much for him to move back her. We made an agreement that anytime the three of us were in the same town, we were together, but when we were apart, it was okay if Tyson was with other people, and of course, Thomas and I were together.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us?” Callum demanded.

  “It’s not something you just mention in idle conversation,” Thomas scoffed. “Hey, how are you? By the way, did you know that Leigh and I are fucking Tyson every chance we get? No, well, we are.” He gave Callum a look. “Do you think you would have understood?”

  Callum pressed his lips together before shaking his head. “Probably not. At least not until a couple months ago.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” Thomas said. “We’ve only been together a few times over the last few years. It’s been hard finding time to meet between work and family,”

  “The last year has been difficult. My mom, she took a turn for the worse last summer, and had to have several surgeries, and then she went through a series of chemotherapy trails that … Well, they knocked her on her ass. She just got weaker and weaker. I couldn’t leave her alone, not even for a night,” he murmured, his words filled with emotions. Thomas brought his hand up to his lips. “I’m okay.”

  “No, you’re not,” he disagreed.

  Tyson smiled weakly before turning back to Elle and Sadie. “My mom passed back in March. She fought hard, but in the end, she just wasn’t strong enough to beat the cancer.”

  “I’m sorry,” Elle murmured.

  “Thanks, but she’s not in pain anymore. It took me a while to get my life in Georgia settled. I had to sell her house, pay off the lingering debt. I graduated from the University of Georgia with a bachelors in science,” he said with pride.

  “So, now you’re back in the city?” Sadie asked, and he nodded. “And what does that mean? Are you three together?”

  All three of them tensed and looked at each other, but it was Thomas who spoke. “I think we still need to talk about where we go from here. Tyson is more than just my lover, he’s my best friend, but Leigh’s my wife. I take my vows serious, and I would never do anything to hurt her.”

  “Me, either,” Leigh whispered, leaning her head on Thomas’s shoulder, but holding Tyson’s hand. “I love them both. In different ways, but I do love them both.”

  Elle nodded. “Well, I hope it works out for you. It’s not easy, though.”

  “No, it’s not. Love rarely is, though,” Leigh said. “But it’s worth it, isn’t it?”

  Shifting her eyes to Sadie first, and then to Derek and Callum, Elle nodded. “I think it is.”

  “I know it is,” Derek murmured, reaching over and taking hold of her hand. “Forever, remember?”

  She nodded as she picked up her drink and took gulp. There was nothing she wanted more than forever with her lovers, but would their selfish desire cost them too much?

  Twenty-two

  “This is hopeless,” Elle grumbled, shoving the open file in front of her away and flopping back in her seat.

  “No, it’s not,” Callum said. “We’ll find a project.”

  “So you keep saying,” she quipped. “But so far, none of these are right.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with any of these projects, Elle. You’re just being too picky,” Sadie argued, the irritation in her voice evident.

  Frowning, Elle turned her chair away so that she was facing the door. Sadie was right; she was being too picky, but every project they were being p
resented with were simple and easy. She wanted a challenge; she wanted Alvarez Park back.

  “Elle,” Sadie called, causing her to spin her chair back around and look at her. “I’m sorry. It’s just we’ve got to pick something. We can’t just keep fiddling our thumbs, waiting for Gabriel Alvarez to get his head out of his ass.”

  “I know,” she murmured, leaning forward and thumbing through the file in front of her once again. Sunset Market would be a seven-store shopping center, but the specifications the developer wanted would make the shopping center look like every other one in San Francisco: plain and boring. Elle wanted something special, something unique, something with heart and soul. Yes, she knew it was senseless. Her job was to design what the client wanted, but her buildings were more than just walls, floors, and ceilings.

  Closing the file, Elle pushed it away again and reached for another possible project, but before she could touch it, her cell phone rang. She smiled when she picked up the phone and saw Ivy’s name on the caller ID. She hadn’t talked to her sister since the night of her wedding seventeen days ago, and though she knew Ivy wasn’t upset with her for the showdown between her and their parents, she still felt guilty for ruining her big sister’s wedding.

  Sliding her finger across the green talk button, Elle brought the phone up to her ear and said, “Hello.”

  “Aloha!” Ivy cheered.

  Elle laughed. “Aloha to you, too. I take it you and Nick had a fabulous time in Hawaii.”

  “Oh, my God, Elle, it was … beyond incredible. It was hotter than Hell, and the humidity was a bitch, but the sunsets were picturesque. We went surfing, snorkeling, dancing. We had dinner on the beach that often led to breakfast on the beach, if you catch my drift.”

  “Ew,” she snickered. “I don’t need to hear about you and Nick having sex on the beach.”

  Sadie fell back in her seat laughing, while Derek and Callum chuckled.

  “Elle! Am I speaker?” Ivy grumbled.

  “No,” she exclaimed. “They’re just immature when it comes to the word sex being uttered by anyone. I swear, they’re like sixteen-year-olds seeing boobs for the first time.”